Butters The Bean

Eat. Play. Roar.

Butterville Police Report

123 Butt Drive

Butterville, USA 32007

 

Officer On Duty – Deputy Jethrow Picklesworth

 

Location Of Arrest-  Club Buttercream, 900 Club Court

 

Offender- Butters The Bean

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D.O.B.- 3/15/2007 

Gender- Male

Height- 2 Ft

Weight- 18.5 lbs

Fur Color- Orange and White

 

 

 

Reason For Arrest- Possession of catnip, Distribution of catnip, Resisting of                                                               arrest, Disturbing the peace.

 

        Suspect was standing outside of Club Buttercream sniffing catnip while exchanging         the substance for cash. He began meowing loudly and rolling into trash cans spilling         the contents. 

 

Transcription

 

Deputy- Excuse me, sir is that catnip?

Butters- What this? It isn’t mine.

Deputy- I saw you sniffing it and selling it to those alley cats.

Butters- No I wasn’t.

Deputy- I just saw you.

Butters- No you didn’t.

*Staring at eachother. 

Butters- It’s dried basil if you must know. I’m a chef at a fancy Italian cafe.

Deputy- Yeah? What’s it called?

Butters- Basil La Butters

Deputy- Hmm…what is your specialty? 

Butters- We make a delicious caprese salad.

Deputy- I could go for one of…..HEY, you’re lying!

Butters- What was your first clue?

Deputy- Sir, I’m going to have to put you under arrest.

Butters- No you’re not! Do you have any idea who I am?!

Deputy- Yeah you’re the mayor, and that doesn’t make you above the law.

Butters- Yes it does.

Deputy Put your paws behind your back.

Butters- NEVER!

*Butters throws catnip into Deputy Picklesworth’s face and runs off only to trip over a garbage bag.

Deputy- Well, well, well, looks like the cat is out of the bag. 

Butters- You think you’re funny don’t you? You’re nothing but a sour cucumber!

*Butters spits in the Deputy’s face. Deputy Picklesworth pounces on Butters trying to put paw cuffs on Butters.

Deputy- Stop resisting!

Butters You don’t own me! I’m Butters The Bean, cat extraordinaire! 

* Deputy Picklesworth snaps the cuffs on Butters.

Deputy- You’re going downtown!

Butters- I own this town! You can’t do this!

Deputy- Don’t believe me, just watch!

*The Deputy pulls Butters to his feet, but Butters goes limp and screams.

Butters- Ahhhh, you’re hurting me! Ahhhh! AHHHHHH!

Deputy- Stop being dramatic!

Butters- AHHHHHHH! BLARGH! AHHHH! 

*Deputy Picklesworth drags Butters and throws him into the police car and takes him to the station. 

 

 

 

17 thoughts on “Butters Got Arrested Again. The Police Report.

  1. Henifur says:

    Poor Butters! 😻 I’ll pay your bail (I’m exchange for wet nose kissies) 💋

    Like

  2. Karen says:

    Oh no, Butters!! Time to laY off the nip! 🙌🏻😘

    Like

    1. Janelle says:

      Oh daamn Butters, hey I got your back homie. Just give me the word and I’ll break you outta there. I have a cat on the inside that can help you.

      Like

  3. Lisa Parsons says:

    Sorry butters, I will help Butters,sorry, I will help you,to see location.From Lisa.

    Like

  4. Richard says:

    Free Butters!!!

    Like

  5. Lisa Dykes says:

    I will bail you out Butters, I love you

    Like

  6. Chris grannes says:

    agree, FREE BUTTERS!!

    Mayor Butters was just conducting his own sting operation…right?

    Love you, you little feline felon!

    Like

    1. Lana Maggi says:

      Poor butters baby, if he was the major he should’ve made catnip legal to avoid all this conflict!

      Like

  7. Lori l Bryant says:

    Butters your to cute to be on jail. What can I do to help you get out of jail?

    Like

  8. Lori l Bryant says:

    FREE BUTTERS!

    Like

  9. Tab the Cat says:

    Which jail? I’m baking a cake and putting a nail file inside as we speak. Be ready, I’ll have a van parked out front tomorrow. 7.30am.

    Like

  10. Danise Thomas says:

    Oh Butters, we knew this cat nip problem was going to lead to trouble…lucky you have loved ones to bail you out! 💕💕💕😂

    Like

  11. Ariam m ramos says:

    Oh god help butters!!! He’s just an innocent little kitten.

    Like

    1. Lori l Bryant says:

      I agree. Butters is an innocent little kitten.

      Like

  12. rachelvk says:

    It’s time to legalize! This should not happen to another cat again. Let the cops look for some real criminals.
    I love you, Butters! 😻💗 💗💗
    Btw, was the deputy a cat or a human? Or a dog? Mmhh… 🤔

    Like

  13. Tab the Cat says:

    BUTTERS FOR PRESIDENT!

    Like

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