Butters The Bean

Eat. Play. Roar.

  I was hired one afternoon for a children’s birthday party. I prepared for my regular routine by packing my red squeaky nose, my flower that squirts water, etc. I turned to the mirror, looked into my eyes and said “I got this!” I hopped into my small mouse-shaped car, and I was off.


  When I arrived at the residence, I could hear the children cheering from the inside. I knew that they had to be aware of my good yelp reviews. I stepped out of my car, straightened by bowtie and strutted up to the door. Ding dong went the doorbell.    


 A child who looked to be around the age of 6 answered the door and looked me up and then slammed the door in my face. “You gotta be kitten me!”, I muttered. The door opened again, and it was the mother, “I’m terribly sorry for that, Jimmy is going through a phase.” She motioned me inside, and I walked past her to see children running around everywhere.  


   “Ahem”, I cleared my throat to go gain the attention of the children, but they did not pay me any attention. I cleared my throat again but louder, still no responses. Did they not who I was, I thought for sure they saw my yelp reviews. Their lack of awareness of me was an absolute outrage.  “EXCUSE ME!”, I screamed. They all stopped and looked at me. Now that I got their attention, the show can begin!12189653_413470158851285_3784634306393309905_n


      “I’m Buttzo the clown, and I’m here to entertain you!” The children just looked at me with blank stares. There was a little girl looking at me with a twitchy eye, so I walked over to her and said “hi, I’m Buttzo, let me help you with that eye!” I proceeded to squirt water from my flower into her eye. The little girl began to scream, and the mother came running asking what is wrong with me. I didn’t like being talked to in such a manner, so I squirted water into her eye as well. “Anyone else have something to say?!”, I yelled. Everyone gasped which I thought was out of awe, but a man grabbed me and threw me outside. After landing on my butt in the grass, I yelled “leave me a review on yelp!”





6 thoughts on “The Clown Chronicles

  1. Liam says:

    There’s a spelling mistake in the 4th paragraph where it says “did they not who i was,” can you fix this?


    1. lindymoheg says:

      Him’s the cutest clowninest flower squirtenest kid tormentingest funny boy. He is so so handome, and I am scared of clowns. But buttzo is the cutest clown there is in town. Be it a little out of touch with social queues, heh heh.


    2. lindymoheg says:

      I noticed that too. He has Butterfingers. Or Butter toe pads.


  2. Karen says:

    Aww Butters! You make the cutest clown .. those kids don’t know what they’re missing 😹😹😻😻


  3. Danise Thomas says:

    I would love to hire Buttzo for my next party! 🎉🎈🤡


  4. chris grannes says:

    Poor Butters! The lack of respect for your craft, it was so rude to be tossed outside!
    Keep on being a clown, Butters—you will prevail!
    I,too, would hire you for any birthday party i gave, but am at the age i try to forget my birthdays 😉
    Love you, little guy!


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